I bet you didn’t know that. I’m here to tell you all about that cold weather, and why winter makes everything so cold around these parts. Summer is hot, spring is hot, fall is pretty mild, and then winter all of a sudden makes a few months seem uninhabitable. Why does this happen? Is there any way to fix it?
I’m not saying it’s aliens, but it’s aliens.
Why does the earth circle the sun in an elliptical pattern? Aliens.
Why does it get so cold from the earth spinning near the sun? The sun is pretty hot. Why do we get cold? Aliens.
You might think those seasons everyone is always jabbering on about are real, but it’s just aliens manipulating the weather patterns to make things seem cold. If they weren’t douches, we’d have pleasant weather all year round. Thanks, aliens.
And have you ever wondered why people get so cold when it’s cold out? Damn aliens.
Anyway, let’s keep this going so you know exactly why winter is cold.
Since aliens have such thin skin, they need to regulate their body temperatures all the time, which means they need to constantly change the weather to suit their needs. If they didn’t do this, there would be no more aliens for us to enjoy on occasion. Think about all of those UFO sightings that everyone sees thousands of times a year. There would be no more of them to enjoy.
If we didn’t have aliens, we wouldn’t have the cool gadgets we have like the iPhone and lasers. We wouldn’t have apples or oranges. We certainly wouldn’t have gloves or jackets. We need those aliens to keep feeding us different technology cues.
I’m sure everyone is used to the changing seasons by now, so what’s the big deal if you have to be a little cold once in awhile? Or if you need to be hot for a few months? If your alien brethren need these changes to stay afloat and not die or whatever it is aliens do, then It’s a small price to pay.
In the end, just deal with it. You have all of those fancy jackets and everything, so why would you want to waste all of your cool clothing to be comfortable all year long? Besides, you’d probably get bored of that after while, you know? Aliens.