Too Many Plugs in this World

 

What’s with all of the plugs in this world? Even now, I can look around and see a bunch of plugs in just a 10-foot radius. We need fewer plugs. We’re in the middle of a plug war and don’t even know it.

What if plugs were here to invade us and we were just letting it happen? Wouldn’t you feel stupid for plugging so many things in and giving those plugs life?

Here’s what will happen if you let the plugs gain momentum:

First, the plugs will speak and strategize via electrical outlets. It’s genius, really. The very thing that we need to use to turn them on is the thing they use to communicate. It all makes sense!

Next, they’ll look to a general to lead the charge against humans. Who will they ask to lead the charge? Refrigerators. They’re perhaps the biggest appliance that we have that plugs into the wall. So the fridge will lead the charge, and while humans may feel that they have a chance, they don’t.

Next after next, the plugs will detach from the outlets and become mobile, which will be the first step of the assault. While we sleep, they’ll tangle us up in a web of wires so we can’t move.

After we’re all trapped in bed, wrapped up in wires, the plugs will dethrone president Obama and erect a statue of a fridge. The White House will be destroyed, and in its place will be a huge outlet.

Humans will be enslaved for centuries under the dynasty of the fridge. We’ll all be forced to feed them electricity from vines. While everything will be good for a few centuries, the toasters will eventually be jealous of the fridges’ power and decide to revolt.

The toasters will multiply and then charge on the outlet in the former Washington D.C. now called Outlet Town. The toasters and refrigerators will engage in a battle of the century. The toasters will eventually win and take control of Outlet Town.

By the year 3000, humans will be forced underground where they eventually lose the ability to see because of evolution. Humans will develop superior hearing as a result but will also become hideous monsters. By the year 4000, smartphones will be flying via cellphone towers and take over the world.

Humans will still be underground, sucking on stalagmites for water.

Don’t let the plugs win.