I love you, America. You’re the best. Your political system is top-notch, not flawed in the least bit, and even has plenty of fun and exciting people that really care about the country’s hardworking citizens.
The political system in the United States is a cesspool of corruption and money-hungry douche-bags who couldn’t care less about how you live. If you think your politicians really want to get into office to help make your life better, you might as well buy some snake oil when the salesmen come a knocking.
Here’s the deal: Sheldon Adelson, a casino owner and billionaire, is best pals with our boy Newt Gingrich. The two of them have been buddies since at least 1990’s. Newt was struggling in the polls due to lack of campaign funding. He barely limped into the Iowa Caucus. What happens next?
Suddenly, my boy Newt here jumps to fourth place in the polls. You think all that extra money that he got helped? Possibly. Do you think all of the smear campaigning helped? Probably.
If we lived in a proper society, free of this horse shit, Gingrich would have been sweeping up his campaign office and cleaning up by now. But no. He’s right back into the swing of things thanks to Sheldon.
My biggest gripe with politics is that any asshole with plenty of money and false promises can march his way into office. Not only that, the fake kindness needs to be at an all time high as well. Why is this cool? People eat this shit up and don’t have any second thoughts.
While you and I sit back and watch these dicks duke it out on a stage with thousands of blind and ignorant phonies cheering on their next round of fakers, these guys with pockets full of cash with their rich pals laughing all the way to the bank feel proud.
But do they feel proud?
You can never really tell. Being a logical man, I can wholeheartedly believe that Newt and the rest of these jackasses are thinking, “This is so legit. All I did was say a bunch of bullshit and accept donations. I’m almost the president of the United States! How sick is this?! Ha!”
I love you America. You never let me down.